Same mistake, same consequences

Overall I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person. Not with numbers, and not with any technical stuff, but, you know, in general.

I’m not feeling very smart today. By far. That’s because I catch myself making the same mistake over and over again. You’d think I had learned by now. I haven’t.

It’s my enthusiasm. It’s the hundreds of creative ideas. It’s all the wonderful art supplies that I have, waiting to be turned into a piece of art. I want it all. That’s a very human aspiration, I guess.

The thing is: I simply do not have the energy level of an average adult. With my limited amount of daily energy I can paint for a couple of hours, I can do some paperwork, I can meet with a friend for lunch, I can go to art school, do groceries. But I have to chose one of them, two if I’m lucky. Choosing to force myself to doing more, is choosing the situation I’m in now: I can do none of them, and I have to recover until I’m back at my base level.

Recovering from a period of “enthusiasm” usually takes a couple of weeks. It is mixture of acceptance (This is who I am) and hope (Maybe tomorrow…). It’s confronting and frustrating, especially when I look at other people’s lives. But comparing leads to despair, so I try. I try to learn my lesson. Again.