Oh, the irony…

I’ve started working on my new collection of paintings: sketching, trying different color combinations, selecting reference photos,…

I know one thing about this collection: it’s about my journey as a recovering people-pleaser.

While doing all my preparations, secretly, my inner critic started whispering in my ear:

• people will expect art about recovering from people-pleasing to look very bright, happy and free;

• the colors that you are choosing aren’t bright, happy and free;

• no one will understand what these paintings are about;

• your ideas are completely off topic;

• (and eventually) this will not be good work.

It took me a couple of weeks to realize what was happening. That my mind was playing tricks on me: I was trying to please (imaginary) others. In my collection about overcoming just that.

Oh, the irony of life…

So I asked my inner people-pleaser to be quiet, in order for me to hear what my heart wants to say.

I’ve been listening very carefully, without judgement, fear or pressure. The actual painting process has started, and it’s clear that this collection will not look bright and cheerful. Instead it will look thoughtful, sensitive, vulnerable and filled with hope. It will look exactly what the process of overcoming my tendency to please others feels like to me.