Two of many mistakes

I did two stupid things this week. No capital sins, but nevertheless I feel awful about them.

First I send a client someone else’s bank account number instead of my own. She paid me, not knowing she actually sent her money to a stranger. I sent her a reminder because I hadn’t received her money yet. She sent me proof of her payment, and told me this was the bank account number I gave her. She was right. I have no idea how and why I would do that.

I apologized and told her I would send her the postcards she had been trying to buy.

Feeling guilty about my mistake I immediately sent her the postcards.

Two nights later I woke up in a panic: somehow when sleeping I had realized that I had forgotten to add stamps to the package. I couldn’t get back to sleep, ruminating about this second error in a row.

I have yet to send that client a message saying that she might receive a payment request from Bpost in order to receive her package. I can do it. I just have to find the courage.

If one of my friends would tell me they had made these exact same mistakes, I would comfort them, saying they are minor things no one would get angry about. I would mean it from the bottom of my heart.

For myself… it doesn’t work that way. I have a long list of mistakes I made over the last 45 years, that I feel awful about. Some big, some small. But never small enough to forgive myself and let them go.